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By Karen R. LoGiudice

Strengthen your Relationships with the Gift of Gratitude

4/18/2017

1 Comment

 
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After nearly 26 years of marriage, I am often asked how my husband and I keep our spark going.  I must admit to being incredibly blessed to be married to a man who still makes me laugh, makes me feel incredibly safe, and accepts me unconditionally for who I am. He loves me despite my quirks and supports me no matter what. 
 
Showing my gratitude to him is easy, because I am truly grateful for all that he does for me.  That being said, it is still important to remember that conscious gratitude is an essential part of living a happy life.  No matter what your circumstances, seek out every opportunity to see the amazing aspects of your life, your loved ones, and all of the blessings we have, and practice gratitude as much as possible.
 
The very best way to create more in your life for which to be grateful, is to be mindful of even the smallest blessings you have. When those blessings involve someone else, be sure to spread the love and let them know that you are grateful for them in your life.

So, how do you show your gratitude to those you love in a unique way? Saying a heart-felt thank you is a start, but let’s go a little deeper, shall we?
 
Learn your loved one’s “Love Language.” From the famous book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary Chapman, it is easy to figure out how you and your loved one most easily expresses love. Take a few moments and see which one(s) resonate in your relationship, then pay attention to when you are being shown love. 
  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Giving/Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch
 
My husband definitely shows his love for me and our family with "Acts of Service."  He does all of the laundry (I have yet to lack a pair of socks, underwear, or a towel for 26 years…no kidding), takes care of things around the house, washes my car, and, after 4 years of NEVER filling my windshield washer fluid, I recently realized that my fluid tank is not never-ending – nor is there a windshield washer fluid fairy…unless you want to put wings on my hubby (but I don’t think he’d appreciate that much).
 
My love language is “Words of Affirmation” – so I find myself telling my husband how awesome he is, that he is adorable, and sending him texts/leaving notes for him.
 
When you realize how you are being shown love, NOTICE it and feel grateful for it! The more you notice, the more loved (and, therefore, grateful) you will feel. Be sure to acknowledge their displays of affection – and reciprocate.

Try to reciprocate in their love language. Although we all will have our own primary Love Language, it can be extra special to express your gratitude by doing something that fits your loved one’s language, rather than your own. 

Cooking my husband dinner or throwing in a load of laundry is always a welcome gesture, and I love getting an unexpected text or a note left in my gym bag.
 
Be present and mindful with your loved one. In order to notice the acts of love you are receiving, you must be present and mindful. It is easy to get swept up in the day’s activities or get lost on your phone/computer and not even notice the nice things that are happening. No matter what Love Language, we all want to feel connected and understood. Here are some examples of intentional things you can do to bring mindfulness into your relationship:

  • Greet your loved one at the door with a smile and hug if possible.
  • Be present and truly listen to what they are saying.
  • Put down your phone and establish a connection – make them a priority.
 
Make their favorite food. Food is one of the easiest ways to nurture someone. If your loved one has a favorite food, pick it up at the grocery store the next time you are there and surprise them. Bake them their favorite cookies or put their favorite comfort food on the menu for the week. Cooking and baking are easy ways to show your gratitude.
 
Feel Grateful! The most important tip of all is perhaps the most obvious.  In order to show gratitude, you must actually FEEL it! We all go through times when we may not be “feeling it” – sometimes annoyances and inward stress hide our gratitude from view. If you find yourself succumbing to lack of gratitude, try these quick exercises to resurrect it.

  1. Go to a quiet place and write down all of things you appreciate about your loved one.  Think about times when you have felt happy, safe, understood.  Remember fun times and laughs. Write about your journey – how you started out, where you went, what shaped your relationship. What attributes do you most admire about him/her?
  2. Every day find at least one thing for which you are grateful and really feel it! You can apply this to your life or your loved one. Everyone, no matter what your circumstances, has something to be grateful for…even if it is the air we breathe or the water that flows from our faucet.  Start somewhere and you will find that more and more things for which to be grateful will begin to reveal themselves.
 
Gratitude in an internal feeling.  It is self-generated.  We can choose to feel it or not.  When we tap into gratitude, we align ourselves with LOVE. 

When we express gratitude, we are bringing the other person into that feeling, which instantly raises the vibration of the relationship. Expressing gratitude is showing another person that you honor them, respect them, accept them, and shows that you appreciate having them in your life.  So, the next time you say, “Thank you!” connect with what you’re saying and feel that gratitude bubble up within you. Your life, and your relationships, will be happier, healthier, and WAY more fun! 

​***
New Moon Self-Development Center offers one-on-one coaching to heal your past, find the present, and create your future.  If you need assistance in releasing blocks that are preventing you from living your happiest life, contact Karen LoGiudice for a free phone consultation.  Our unique, signature Clay Coaching is a quick and highly effective way to uncover and let go of limiting beliefs and thought patterns blocking your way.  Contact us today for more information!

1 Comment
Tom M
7/13/2017 03:12:45 pm

Gratitude creates such a powerful mindset. When we are actively thankful our mind is in a powerful place. I have a minute of gratitude daily just as I sit up to get out of bed. It puts me into a constructive mindset to take on my day more effectively and more positively!

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    Karen LoGiudice is a personal growth coach seeking to help people live their very best lives.  With 12 year of coaching experience, she provides holistic information and tools to clients worldwide.

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