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I am coming out of the closet!

9/29/2016

4 Comments

 
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It is interesting what happens when you escape life and find yourself at a retreat in the woods with women from all over New England – all seeking peace, solace, self-reflection, and relaxation...it was over Labor Day weekend at the Heartworks Women’s Wellness Retreat at Camp Belknap in NH that I decided I needed to come out of the closet…
No, not that kind of closet, folks! The closet door I am walking through is one that has been blocking me from fulfilling my soul’s purpose…my life’s work. For years I have been developing an amazing program that is powerful, exciting, life-changing, and is creating lasting transformation in my clients at lightning speed. 

Despite having some incredible tools and techniques that I KNOW work and can truly help people who are wanting to release blocks that hold them back from their true potential, I have battled with the
"Who-am-I-?-Syndrome” that many creators and innovators experience with their work.  "Who am I to design such a program?  Who am I to think that I can help people using a process that I created?  Who am I [fill in the blank]."  These ego-based excuses have clouded my path – stopped me in my tracks – paralyzed me with fear of what the world would make of me should I share my most personal life’s work with the masses. 


Q: What do fingerprints, peacocks, closet doors, and my life’s purpose have in common?
A:  Bear with me, I promise it will all come together.


Fingerprints
It is a widely accepted and scientifically-proven fact that all people have unique fingerprints.  The intricate, beautiful little swirls on our fingertips are our unique identifiers – a miraculous display of physical proof that we are, indeed, all completely different and special in our own way.  I remember wondering as a kid how it could be possible that no two people have the same prints – not even identical twins!  What is the purpose for such a phenomenon?  Could it solely be for the convenience of law enforcement?  Turns out, there is scientific evidence that our fingerprints store far more than suspected – they are a map to our personality…our life’s purpose.  The elaborate whorls and swirls can be analyzed by trained professionals and the results are nothing short of mind blowing!   

During my previous stay at Camp Belknap, I was lucky enough to have such a professional (see details below) study my fingerprints.  For the purposes of time, I will not get into all of the specifics revealed during my personal fingertip analysis.  Suffice it to say, however, I was completely bowled over as my inner-most character traits were described so accurately by this [then] stranger, that my chin hit the floor.  I was so amazed, in fact, that I wanted to learn more – and at this year’s retreat I did just that.  

Peacocks
No, not that kind of peacock, folks!  Turns out, one of the most unique findings on my fingertips were three “peacock” whorls.  Apparently having one peacock is rare…having three is very rare.  It signifies a person who is creative, innovative, out of the box, goes to the beat of different drum, and (like the bird) essentially NEEDS to be showy.  Hmmmm.  At first, I was embarrassed by this excess of “peacock-ness” – although I knew immediately that my inner showman…my inner drama queen…my inner performer…has only been allowed out in full force on a few occasions.  I have always felt that if I were to let it out, people would run screaming for the hills – or, more likely, think I was a weirdo!  Nope…those peacock tail feathers needed to stay concealed, neat, and under control. 
During another enlightening workshop that weekend, I realized that my recent stints in local theater had been providing me with an outlet for my deprived inner peacock.  Playing the queen in our most recent "Theater in the Open" panto was a dream role for me – for, when else can you, as a grown woman, dress up in a crown and fake-lunge at audience members…and have that be applauded, accepted, and completely appropriate? ​
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Photo credit: Theater in the Open
Yes, theater popped the cork on my inner peacock, and now it is time to channel it into my WORK. 

At that same workshop, the presenter went around the room and asked each of us, “What do you want to change?”  When it was my turn, I answered. She asked me the same question again. I answered slightly differently.  She asked me again…and again.  When it all boiled down, I realized that what I really want is to get my work out the masses and not worry what nay-sayers will think, say, or do about it. No one has ever accomplished anything of greatness without taking a chance, stepping out of the box, doing something different, and, perhaps, risking complete and utter failure. 


Closet Doors…
The next question was one that I ask my clients all the time: "What is stopping you from making this change?" 

Fear. 

When you want to retreat to the safety of a closet, fear is no-doubt lurking.  Fear is what, I believe, stops all of us from acting on our dreams.  It skews our perception, dwindles our confidence, and distorts the truth.  It is the lowest (and I mean LOWEST) common denominator for all blocks. Fear is ego-based.  In its activated state, it savagely demeans and strips away empowerment and confidence.  In its inactive state, it operates through negative core beliefs which can block us from taking action, even when we really want to move forward.  I work with my clients to release fear all the time – and I am not immune to it.

I have spent two years waffling about publishing my book.  Why?  I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I am not a doctor.  I don’t have the fancy credentials and initials behind my name.  Of course, I have my degree, extensive counseling training, 12 years of successful work with clients under my belt, testimonies from Clay Coach clients that are humbling and amazing, requests from other coaches to train them in my techniques…

…but that doesn’t matter because I don’t have traditional “training” in the techniques that…I…created…

HOLY EPIPHANY!

What hit me like a ton of bricks that weekend was that it is impossible for me to get “certified” in the program I provide – BECAUSE I AM ITS CREATOR.  There is no one else who CAN credential me.  I realized that I am officially the world’s leading expert in the Clay Coach program, and, therefore, can only be the certify-er!

(Please note: I have since discussed this epiphany with my confidants – and their only surprise was that I had just realized this.  It goes to show how fear can disguise the obvious and block us from achieving our dreams.)

So, I guess the real question should be, “Who am I to withhold this information from the masses?  Who am I to sit on a book that might just help someone to be able to fulfill their life’s purpose, or clear painful blocks that have limited their potential?  Who am I to sit in fear of judgement when I have been blessed with an idea that is unique, powerful, and transformative?”

As the creator of New Moon Self-Development Center and the Clay Coach Programs, my choices are:

Door #1: Close my feathers and fail to shine
Door #2: Step into my purpose, show my true colors, accept that I may not be understood by everyone, and get my life’s work out to anyone and everyone who wants to create lasting change in life.
 

Well, folks…I am going with Door #2!

Shaking my Tail Feathers…
Clay is an integral part of my work and is incredibly powerful when used with intention, mindfulness, and affirmation.  It is holistic alchemy in action. In preparation of walking through Door #2, I made a clay model of myself and, with crystal-clear intention, owned my inner-peacock-ness by adding colorful, confident, and blazing feathers, and affirmed my dedication and passion for sharing my life's work!  It was a powerful exercise.
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In the coming months, I will be sharing more of what has been bottled up for so long. As for my book that has been tabled for years now – I am dusting it off and going for it! I have my Sculpting Your Life™ Coaching Program to facilitate, workshops that I am dying to share, videos to record, ebooks to write, training to develop, and endless ideas for new and exciting ways to grow and shine! 

Wow!  It is bright out here! 
________

Please sign up for my free enewsletter to keep abreast of new events, and like/share my Facebook page so that I can begin reaching more people who can benefit from what I have to offer. I am so grateful for your support! 

In the meantime, here are some helpful links you can check out:


Sculpting Your Life™ Coaching Program - http://www.newmoonselfdevelopment.com/sculpting-your-life.html
Upcoming Workshops - http://www.newmoonselfdevelopment.com/workshopsevents.html
Fingerprint Analysis - http://www.marinnarose.com/
Healthworks Women’s Wellness Retreat - http://campbelknap.org/news-events/womens-retreat-weekend/
4 Comments

Undo Negative Thinking and Change your Life!

9/6/2016

3 Comments

 
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Life isn’t always easy. Yet, we make life more challenging with negative thinking. The influence of negative thoughts is far-reaching. It affects you mentally, emotionally, and physically. Negative thinking limits your ability to achieve your goals and to enjoy life. When I work with clients, one of the first things we do is delve into thinking patterns.  The fact is:

Positive thoughts propel; negative thoughts stagnate.  

It can be an enlightening experience to become witness to your thoughts – and surprising to realize how many negative thoughts enter your consciousness throughout the day. By reversing negative thought patterns, you will greatly increase your happiness, success, and well-being.

​One of my favorite keys on the computer is the UNDO button. When you realize that you made a mistake, this magical button enables you to go back to the time before the mistake occurred and fix it! Taking that idea and applying it to our thoughts is easy once we're aware that it is possible.  If we take the time to realize how damaging our negative thinking can be, we can "undo" and replace those thoughts with ones that better serve us.

What have we found with respect to how negative thinking impacts your life?

1.  What you think about, you experience. Have you ever re-run a negative experience in your mind and ended up feeling angry or hurt all over again?  The human brain is amazingly complex – but despite its incredible power, it is very logical in the way it processes information.  When we are thinking negatively, the brain doesn’t realize that what we are thinking about is not really happening – and it will react to the thought the same way it would if the experience were happening now.  It will quickly generate the emotions and reactions on cue. But it is only reacting to a thought!

What many people don’t realize, however, is that our thoughts can be directed and changed at will!  If you are feeling angry, sad, hurt, fearful, or hopeless, take a look at what you are thinking. There are ways to re-direct and/or re-write your thoughts so that you can begin to bring in happier and more positive thoughts into your life and experiences. The ability to do this (which we all have) is key to making change in the negative patterns of your life.

2.  Negative thinking inhibits your ability to achieve goals. For any objective, you have things pulling you toward your goal and other things pushing you away. When you think negative thoughts about achieving a goal, you’re much less able to accomplish it.

Imagine you’d like to take a trip to Hong Kong. This has always been a goal of yours. But then you start thinking about it:

•    “It’s so far away, the jet-lag will be awful. I’ll probably spend half of the trip just recovering.”

•    “The language is so different from English. How will I manage?”

•    “I should spend the money on something else.”

•    “I’ll lose a lot of money exchanging currency.”

•    “I’ve heard Chinese prisons are the worst in the world. What if I break some weird law I don’t even know about?”

Suddenly, that dream trip to Hong Kong doesn’t sound so dreamy anymore. Negative thinking makes goals seem harder than they are in reality and can prevent us from doing and achieving our dreams.

These two negative effects are pervasive. They influence your entire life. But, there are additional consequences as well.

Negative thinking can limit your capabilities:

1.  It’s damaging to your health. The stress caused by negative thinking is unnecessary and wreaks havoc on your health.  Stress has been linked to all major health issues.  Is it possible, then, that our thinking could be at the core of our health problems?  I believe the answer is YES!  Our thoughts are powerful – once we learn how to control them, miracles can happen.

2. It lowers your self-esteem and confidence. When you think negatively about yourself (I am overweight…I am not smart enough…I am disorganized…I can’t…I don’t…), it is difficult to feel good about yourself.  Catch yourself thinking these thoughts or verbalizing these thoughts.  If you wouldn’t say that or think that about your child or best friend, you shouldn’t be saying/thinking that about yourself!  Love yourself and have compassion for your imperfections – then work to eliminate the reason why those negative beliefs are there to begin with.  Awareness is the first step in the process.

Many of my clients are shocked to realize how negative their thinking patterns are.  Sometimes it takes a little coaching to get to the bottom of it. Don’t underestimate the importance of turning those thoughts around. It is life-changing work!

3.  It saps your energy. Negative thinking is exhausting and saps your resources.  It is difficult to be upbeat and energetic when negative thoughts are swirling through your mind.  

How to Limit Your Negative Thinking Patterns

Luckily, there are ways to limit your negative thoughts and bring in positivity each day:

1. Bring awareness to what you're thinking about.  Check yourself throughout the day for negative thoughts, especially during these regular daily activities:

•    Lying in bed
•    Showering
•    Driving to work
•    Cleaning
•    And so on

These tasks are frequently when we let our minds go on autopilot.  Autopiloted thoughts will many times downward spiral if we're not careful.  Be sure that you are at the controls!

2.  When you notice a negative thought, STOP!  Hit the mental “undo button” and change the thought to one that’s more positive. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I hate commuting to work,” consciously UNDO that thought and think about why it is a good option for you.  Something like, “Driving is way better than taking the bus. I can open my windows and sing with my music as loudly as I like.” Then go ahead and do that!

3.  Get into the habit of thinking positive thoughts. Before doing any task, take 15 seconds and think a few positive thoughts about it. The task will be easier and more enjoyable. If you visualize what it will look like and feel like when done, even better!

4.  Spend more time with positive people. We tend to conform to the people with whom we spend the most time.  If you are surrounded with people who think negatively, it is a dangerous environment to be in – negativity is catchy!  Notice the people who are positive – do they seem happier than the others?  They are! Ensure that the people around you are positive.

Reducing the incidences of negative thinking is one of the most effective ways to spend your time and enhance your life. Negative thoughts can harm your happiness, success, and health. Spend time to ensure that your thoughts are supportive and positive and turn your life around.

This can be easier said than done – if you’ve tried to change your mindset and have not achieved the results you’re looking for, we can help!  Check out http://www.newmoonselfdevelopment.com/coaching.html for more information.  

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    Karen LoGiudice is a personal growth coach seeking to help people live their very best lives.  With 12 year of coaching experience, she provides holistic information and tools to clients worldwide.

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