It is interesting what happens when you escape life and find yourself at a retreat in the woods with women from all over New England – all seeking peace, solace, self-reflection, and relaxation...it was over Labor Day weekend at the Heartworks Women’s Wellness Retreat at Camp Belknap in NH that I decided I needed to come out of the closet…
Despite having some incredible tools and techniques that I KNOW work and can truly help people who are wanting to release blocks that hold them back from their true potential, I have battled with the
"Who-am-I-?-Syndrome” that many creators and innovators experience with their work. "Who am I to design such a program? Who am I to think that I can help people using a process that I created? Who am I [fill in the blank]." These ego-based excuses have clouded my path – stopped me in my tracks – paralyzed me with fear of what the world would make of me should I share my most personal life’s work with the masses.
Q: What do fingerprints, peacocks, closet doors, and my life’s purpose have in common?
A: Bear with me, I promise it will all come together.
It is a widely accepted and scientifically-proven fact that all people have unique fingerprints. The intricate, beautiful little swirls on our fingertips are our unique identifiers – a miraculous display of physical proof that we are, indeed, all completely different and special in our own way. I remember wondering as a kid how it could be possible that no two people have the same prints – not even identical twins! What is the purpose for such a phenomenon? Could it solely be for the convenience of law enforcement? Turns out, there is scientific evidence that our fingerprints store far more than suspected – they are a map to our personality…our life’s purpose. The elaborate whorls and swirls can be analyzed by trained professionals and the results are nothing short of mind blowing!
During my previous stay at Camp Belknap, I was lucky enough to have such a professional (see details below) study my fingerprints. For the purposes of time, I will not get into all of the specifics revealed during my personal fingertip analysis. Suffice it to say, however, I was completely bowled over as my inner-most character traits were described so accurately by this [then] stranger, that my chin hit the floor. I was so amazed, in fact, that I wanted to learn more – and at this year’s retreat I did just that.
No, not that kind of peacock, folks! Turns out, one of the most unique findings on my fingertips were three “peacock” whorls. Apparently having one peacock is rare…having three is very rare. It signifies a person who is creative, innovative, out of the box, goes to the beat of different drum, and (like the bird) essentially NEEDS to be showy. Hmmmm. At first, I was embarrassed by this excess of “peacock-ness” – although I knew immediately that my inner showman…my inner drama queen…my inner performer…has only been allowed out in full force on a few occasions. I have always felt that if I were to let it out, people would run screaming for the hills – or, more likely, think I was a weirdo! Nope…those peacock tail feathers needed to stay concealed, neat, and under control.
At that same workshop, the presenter went around the room and asked each of us, “What do you want to change?” When it was my turn, I answered. She asked me the same question again. I answered slightly differently. She asked me again…and again. When it all boiled down, I realized that what I really want is to get my work out the masses and not worry what nay-sayers will think, say, or do about it. No one has ever accomplished anything of greatness without taking a chance, stepping out of the box, doing something different, and, perhaps, risking complete and utter failure.
The next question was one that I ask my clients all the time: "What is stopping you from making this change?"
When you want to retreat to the safety of a closet, fear is no-doubt lurking. Fear is what, I believe, stops all of us from acting on our dreams. It skews our perception, dwindles our confidence, and distorts the truth. It is the lowest (and I mean LOWEST) common denominator for all blocks. Fear is ego-based. In its activated state, it savagely demeans and strips away empowerment and confidence. In its inactive state, it operates through negative core beliefs which can block us from taking action, even when we really want to move forward. I work with my clients to release fear all the time – and I am not immune to it.
I have spent two years waffling about publishing my book. Why? I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I am not a doctor. I don’t have the fancy credentials and initials behind my name. Of course, I have my degree, extensive counseling training, 12 years of successful work with clients under my belt, testimonies from Clay Coach clients that are humbling and amazing, requests from other coaches to train them in my techniques…
…but that doesn’t matter because I don’t have traditional “training” in the techniques that…I…created…
What hit me like a ton of bricks that weekend was that it is impossible for me to get “certified” in the program I provide – BECAUSE I AM ITS CREATOR. There is no one else who CAN credential me. I realized that I am officially the world’s leading expert in the Clay Coach program, and, therefore, can only be the certify-er!
(Please note: I have since discussed this epiphany with my confidants – and their only surprise was that I had just realized this. It goes to show how fear can disguise the obvious and block us from achieving our dreams.)
So, I guess the real question should be, “Who am I to withhold this information from the masses? Who am I to sit on a book that might just help someone to be able to fulfill their life’s purpose, or clear painful blocks that have limited their potential? Who am I to sit in fear of judgement when I have been blessed with an idea that is unique, powerful, and transformative?”
As the creator of New Moon Self-Development Center and the Clay Coach Programs, my choices are:
Door #1: Close my feathers and fail to shine
Door #2: Step into my purpose, show my true colors, accept that I may not be understood by everyone, and get my life’s work out to anyone and everyone who wants to create lasting change in life.
Well, folks…I am going with Door #2!
Shaking my Tail Feathers…
Clay is an integral part of my work and is incredibly powerful when used with intention, mindfulness, and affirmation. It is holistic alchemy in action. In preparation of walking through Door #2, I made a clay model of myself and, with crystal-clear intention, owned my inner-peacock-ness by adding colorful, confident, and blazing feathers, and affirmed my dedication and passion for sharing my life's work! It was a powerful exercise.
Wow! It is bright out here!
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In the meantime, here are some helpful links you can check out:
Sculpting Your Life™ Coaching Program - http://www.newmoonselfdevelopment.com/sculpting-your-life.html
Upcoming Workshops - http://www.newmoonselfdevelopment.com/workshopsevents.html
Fingerprint Analysis - http://www.marinnarose.com/
Healthworks Women’s Wellness Retreat - http://campbelknap.org/news-events/womens-retreat-weekend/